Pleasantly Surprised

So I met this guy [Gerry] a few weeks ago online. Yes, it was online and YES it was on ManHunt and YES I know ManHunt is considered a hook-up site, but I have been on it for some time now and I have yet to hook-up from it. So the following is a true testament to actually being able to find friends on it too.

So this guy starts hitting me up on MH and that night we talked quite a while and he mentioned he was going out with some of his friends for a drink. I went to his house to meet his roommates (two lesbians) then we went downtown to this bar called Pub 500, which is owned by a guy and his lesbian sister. Now, this establishment is one of only two "friendly" places in here in Kato. So that night I meet a few of his friends and I had a beer and went home. It was a great night and I met some great people.

Then the following week, I met everyone at the Pub again and actually met a couple more people. So apparently everyone likes to go out on Wednesday in Kato. Well...the NEXT Wednesday there was an annual drag show at the college, MNSU. Now…taking into consideration as to where I was at [Mankato] I didn’t really have very high hopes for this show. Before we [Gerry, John, Taylor, Amber, Ryan, and myself] I was thinking there would be just a few people….maybe like 25 30 people, right? OHHH no no no....this place was packed and it was the size of a college gym. There had to be 1000 people there. Apparently, last year there were approximately 900 people too. It was awesome! I was feeling a bit more at home, or like I was not just in some hick town.

The show was great and lasted about 2 hours. After the show we all decided we would go downtown for a drink. At this time it was 10pm. Ryan, who I just met this night, and I were on the same page and were like....man...it is a “school night” so we will only go for one. Well we all go and just as we are finishing our one drink about 30 other homos walk in, including the drag queens. I don't have a problem with it, in fact I thought it was great. I will admit I was a little nervous for all of us, but OMG I had a great time and met a ton more people. Ryan and I are both on approximately our 5th beer by this time and it is midnight when the queens decide to go to this bar called "choppers." Now, let’s take the name of the bar into consideration here….”Choppers” sounds far opposite from a martini bar, right?

Well we are…almost sounds like a bad joke…about 20-30 homos walk into this bar and I bet 75% of the heads turned. You should have seen it…especially when the queens walk in!!!! It was AWESOME! Yet, I was thinking....”OHHHHHH boy!” as I am not sure what to think yet. Well, we continued to have a drink and then the queen of the queens (Gosh Alice Jones, from Minneapolis –works at the 90’s) decides to go do karaoke. And who does she decide to sing? Well, none other than Cher, of course!! So she is up there singing and I continue to check out the crowd and it is kind of sad really....you see the regulars just looking, then looking at all us homos, then shaking their heads, rolling their eyes and you know...the usual "I can't believe these fags are here” kind of a thing. I felt horrible for all of us, but ultimately...I think that was the goal or big picture view of Gosh's...I mean, maybe this was good? Maybe it was good in that yeah, we got them talking? Maybe it was “putting ourselves out there for ridicule,” but maybe it also was a way to prove that hey...we ARE here, we are not bothering you and we just want to have fun too. You know?

The point is, there are more homos here than I thought. More than anyone thinks. People are blind. We are everywhere. But the sad thing is, unlike in Minneapolis, here we feel as though we can’t be ourselves. I will admit that I met a couple guys out the other nights I went out with John and Gerry and I didn’t know they were homos. Either I have a really bad gay-dar or they are just really good at blending in here. I will be honest, I thought the group (Gerry, John, Taylor, and Ryan) I was hanging out with was it! However, now I know that when there is a gay event like that, we all come out for the support. We ARE here, but it is kind of sad in that we kind of keep to ourselves unless there is such an event.

So anyway, that night about 1:30 we all decided to head over to the dance club (the Haze). Again I had a great time! I hung out for a little while until I am finally like, “damn it is time to go since I have to work tomorrow.” However, I had ridden with Gerry since he picked me up to go to the show. It is now 2 am and I have 3 freakin dollars left so I decide to walk home!

I live about a mile away up this long hill. I thought...well it is not far, I can do this. I start walking and about halfway up the hill there are not ANY lights for about 1/4 mile and get this shit...there are woods on either side of the road so it is creepy as fuck!! I hear shit running around in the woods and am scared shitless. Of course, it was probably only a freaking squirrel or rabbit, but I am a bit nervous! I walk faster, but about 2:30am I arrive home. At this time I am like, “fuck I gotta be up in a few hours. I cannot believe I did this shit on a ‘school night.’” But the next day I wake up and realize it was all VERY worth it. I met a ton of people and had a great great time!! The next morning was a little funny when I arrive at work as some of the old ladies ask me if my contacts were bothering me since I had my glasses on. I am like, “yeah, I think I ripped one this morning.” Hehehe. Iam bad! I sooo cannot be doing these late nights like this.

Another little story about being pleasantly surprised here. So get this shit. I am being 100% honest in saying I have never been hit on. Let alone in broad daylight, right. Well, I was up in Minneapolis for the Final Macy’s Happy Hour last Friday night (will have to write about that too) and I hung out Saturday for a while with Ben, his friend Colleen, and then I met up with Laura and Hillary, before I decided I should head back. So I head back and I stop in St. Peter to get some gas at the Holiday Station. I pull up and this guy about my height walked up to me as I step out and asks me how I like my Land Rover. I figured this would be a very short conversation. No…we talked for like 10 minutes. It was about the car, then he was asking about what I did and I where I live and what I did prior to moving and all kinds of stuff. At this point, I am like, WTF is going on and I am kind of flabbergasted. I just could not believe this was happening as this guy was CUTE!! About my age, tall, blond, blue. Oh he was yummy! THEN…Then, right before we finish our conversation and he walks off, he asks me for my phone number. Now I am completely floored!!!! I mean seriously, this shit didn’t happen in Minneapolis, but a hot guy is actually asking me for my phone number at the gas station in St. Peter?? WTF is that all about. When I drive off I am giddy as all hell, but realize I didn’t get his number and for the like of my, I cannot remember his fucking name! Here it is Thursday night and he has yet to call. We’ll see if he does. I guess I am not gonna get my hopes up, but it was sure fun while it lasted!! ;-)

Who I am, not what I am

It’s been three weeks since I started my new job. This job really is going to be great. I am already feeling that it is so much more fulfilling. Instead of sarcastically helping people in the sense of providing that momentary high, or remorse, from them buying something they really enjoy at Macy’s, I am actually truly doing something good.

As much as my friends might give me shit for moving to Mankato to work with farmers, it is becoming much much clearer as to why I was fortunate enough for this opportunity to cross my path. With every passing day things get better here in Mankato. I have a lot to learn in the job, but I am meeting new people and it is nice to be so close to home where I can just go home and help on the farm at almost a moments notice. I will obviously always miss my friends who live in Minneapolis, but being in this community is starting to feel more like home. I mean, I grew up here. At one point recently, I had to ask myself, “What was I doing in the city anyway? This fits me better anyway. Was it that I just felt more comfortable there because of what I am?”

That leads me to another point. So, I do not plan on telling anyone I currently work with that I am gay. Instead, I plan on living my life outside of work as I would normally, but never saying anything at work. I feel like this way, my co-workers will get to know me for WHO I am instead of WHAT I am. I am not saying that they will have a problem with it, but I do know that there is a higher percentage of people here who are much more close-minded and I am not going to give anyone ammunition for disliking me just because they don’t agree with who I might be outside of work. I figure down the road if I get found out, then they will truly know me for WHO I am rather than WHAT they perceive I may have been previous to truly getting to know the real me. Good idea or bad? I donno, but that is the way it will be.

On with the next chapter

Okidoki…so the last few weeks have been interesting. I guess I could say I am starting a new chapter in my life and getting laid off was just one page in this new chapter.

It has been a week since I left Macy’s. I love it, but I will be honest…I was really sad when I was leaving last Friday. It was hard. In the 4 years I was there, I made a ton of friends and worked with sooooo many people. I had to say goodbye to everyone before I left. I am not gonna lie…it was hard. But, as I have said in the past, I am not one to show emotion and I didn’t. ;-) Leaving last Friday from Macy’s was finishing one chapter of my book of life and this week was starting a while new one I my new place. Next week will be, yet another.

In the time between my last posting and this one, I was able to find an apartment in Mankato. I actually found it through craigslist. A guy desperately needed to get out of his lease as he was starting a new job in CA. He is even paying $90 a month for 6 months since he was so desperate. So I came and looked at it and was originally turned off by the exterior of the building, but the unit itself is nice. It is not huge, but it was updated in the last few years. I think I was totally spoiled from my condo that I remodeled myself. That place was sweet. I mean it was very modern, contemporary, and something I could be really proud of.

I had sooooooo much shit that I moved and I didn’t even have any furniture. It was unreal. I moved out of my Edina place 2 Monday’s ago and I started about 9am and didn’t finish until 9pm. Of course I did it by myself, but it was a good that I moved it all myself. This way I touched every last piece of crap before it was packed and moved it from one place to another myself. When I moved in this last Monday, I went through everything Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Like I said, I had sooo much shit! I had 4 garbage bags of crap that I threw away and I made two trips to the Salvation Army to donate. When I finished going through all the little crap on Thursday morning I sat down and thought…”Hummmm. I have never lived alone. This is actually really nice. I have my OWN place. I do not have any roommates. I do not have to clean up after anyone, except myself. Everything here is mine and only mine. This is MY place.” After thinking this, I felt so much better about living here. I am not saying that I will not miss seeing my friends every day at work or working downtown. Of course I will miss all that. But, I have to make living here [Mankato] ok and having a place to call my own home is a start.

I have actually already gone back up to Minneapolis. Last night Ben put on a “Gay sex seminar.” Ok, so the quick story behind this is that we have a bunch of friends that have always asked questions and Ben’s way to explain anything was to put together a PowerPoint presentation with visual aids, such as books and even gay porn movies. It was great! He went through everything from the culture (some of which was news to me), how things have evolved, facts, figures, and many other aspects that might help explain homosexuality. Including, but not limited to coming out stories, and the inequalities we face today and have faced for years. I totally commend him for doing it. It was eye opening for even myself.

That was last night. Today, I could not believe it, but I stayed at Ben’s and slept until noon. I couldn’t believe it because I didn’t even sleep that late all week at my new place. I had planned on going to see my undergrad advisor [Vern]. He was a great man. He is about 70 and still not retired. He is the most senior person at the University of Minnesota and loves it when old students keep in contact. I was going to fill him in on my new job and all that good stuff, but he wasn’t around when I showed up at 12:30, so I went to get a bite to eat at the student union, went back at 1 and was still not there. I talked to his admin and she said he should be around somewhere. Instead of waiting, I went across the street to visit my brother and some of the guys at the frat. I think he was surprised I showed up, but was happy to see me. After visiting with my bro a while, I called before walking back over to see if Vern had returned. I think he must have left a little early to enjoy his spring break, which begins now and goes thru next week. I guess I will have to stop some other time if I get up there during the week.

After finishing up at the U, Ben was at work so I didn’t want to go sit in an empty apartment so I stopped at the Caribou just across the street from his place. I think I have said this in the past, but “I love the Uptown neighborhood of Minneapolis!” When I lived there I loved it because of all the eclectic people. It has not changed and it is just soooo diverse. I love it! So I order my medium White Chocolate Mocha and this older gentleman came in about the same time I did. He was probably retirement age. He gets his medium dark roast, adds some sugar and sits in one of the high tables along the window. I grab a table next to his and wait for my order to be called. I grab it and sit down and just “people watch” and take in the sights and sounds for one of my last times in Uptown. I seriously do not think this guy needed another coffee. After sitting there and watching out the window but watching him out of the corner of my eye, I notice he is fidgety and really hyper and just kind of “odd” I guess you could say. So anyway, he has a few drinks of his coffee and sits and keeps looking at me. I quickly realize this man is an old mo. Hey it is cool. If he wants to check me out, so be it, but seriously dude…not interested. Hahahaha. So he gets up and goes outside to smoke and I swear he walked around the corner a minimum of 5 times looking in the same window I am looking out. It was funny. I sit there for probably half an hour and these 3 beautiful girls come in. Two get a coffee and while they wait, I catch all three checking me out. Again, it was funny because “Sorry girls!” Hahaha. Those girls leave and the retiree comes back in and sits down in his same table and continues to glance at me. I am thinking, “Dude…I am not interested in the girls, and I am also not interested in you.” He proceeds to take out this wide ruled notebook. As he flips the page I notice that is must be his journal. As he flipped the page it didn’t give me a lot of time to read it, but in purple ink the heading at the top of the page said, “Get on with your life” and there was at least one more heading halfway down the page. After a few minutes of watching him write and catching him checking me out, I finish my mocha and leave. As I walk out the door, I come across this cute old woman leaving the Lund’s. She is dressed in this bright purple knee-length pea coat with very bright teal pants and a really big white sun hat. She didn’t look bad and was really put together well, but really caught my attention and obviously made an impression on me.

Anyway, I had to write since it has been a while. Now….On with the next chapter!!