Poor Megan

This week was difficult. It started out normal, but then since I am starting a new job I decided to go visit the people I would be working with in Kato. Great people. Great place. The city is a different story. I need to find a place to live and all the places really, well…suck ass!! There is like one new building in the whole fucking city and it is booked through 2009 AND has a waiting list. This building was built in the last year and EVERYthing else in the city was built in the 60’s and 70’s and are just as expensive as the new place. Are you fucking kidding me?!?! I mean seriously. Maybe that says something? Maybe people want a NICE place to live? I am soooo over living in college type/crappy places. I want someplace nice! Is that too much to ask? And the rent…things there are not any cheaper than here in Minneapolis. I mean seriously, I know there is a university there, but are you fucking kidding me! Obviously, they need more, NICE places. Any Joe Schmoe could tell you the basic economics of Supply and Demand. Hello!! Build more NICE places because you have a two-year fucking waiting list for the only new god damn building in the entire city.

Ok, sorry…I just needed to rant. I am getting a little stressed about finding a place. I can live with my sister and her fiancé for a short time, but I really just wanted to move and settle in. What the fuck ever!!!

Not only am I upset about that whole situation, but I am extremely sad right now. First, I think I just got denied, which I was actually planning on anyway so not a surprise, but the biggest thing that makes be really sad right now is Derek just came to pick up the dog [Megan]. Anyone who really knows me, knows that I am not one to get emotional, but when I looked out the window and she was standing by his car, staring at the front door, waiting for me to come out, it made me really really really sad, or as an old neighbor used to say “schmeltz!” Even before they walked out the door, he went out first and she stood there waiting for me. It was almost like she was saying “aren’t you coming daddy?” Part of me thinks I will not ever see her again because I feel like he will not let me. I mean he took everything of hers. I also feel sooooo bad for her. He will spoil her today, but that will be it. He never paid any attention to her the 3 years we were together. That is why she always followed me around and was sad when I left. When we were together he even said, “She whines when you leave.” If I would go to the store and he stayed with her she was always waiting for me by the door when I got home rather than sitting next to him. He never went outside and threw the ball for her; he never got on the floor and played with her. Just now, instead of letting her run out to the car he hooked her up to the leash. I said, “You don’t need to hook her up. I let her run in the front yard all the time.” He said, “I don’t want her to get her feet dirty for the car.” I asked, “why not just pick her up?” He “I don’t want to get hair all over my shirt.” Are you fucking kidding me? Poor Megan! I feel so bad for her and am extremely sad right now. I wish I could have just said, “NO. She is staying here.” But I couldn’t. She is technically his dog. He went and picked her up. He adopted her in his name, not ours. Everything at the vet is in his name. I have asked before and even recently tried calling again to try to get my name on everything and they wouldn’t let me. They asked, “did you guys get married?” I looked at her like, “are you fucking kidding me? CAN I get married?” but I simply said, “no.” To which she replied. “I don’t agree with it either, but that is the policy.” And this isn’t the local 60 year old catholic veterinarian that has his head so far up his ass as to sociological progression, this is Banfield at PetSmart. I mean, WTF!! Whatever. Today has just been a very fucked up week and day. :-(

I finally have closure

Ok…the ex. Yes Yes Yes, I know. I thought I was over him. But apparently I was not…until today. Last week he asked if he could come see the dog [Megan]. Of course he could, she is his dog too. He came over today and the first few minutes were very awkward. It was weird. I mean, we have not talked in over two months so yea it is going to be weird. After a while we talked about many things, from work to dating. This is where it hit me. I got REALLY jealous when he said he has been dating someone for a while now and it really hit me when he said that he had sex with five people. I was like “5 people in 2 months?!?!?” I don’t know how it came up, but it did and it bothered me.

He had to go to Target and asked if I wanted to go with. I needed to return something there and to Best Buy so after a bit of hesitation I agreed. It was good though. We went and after a while it felt like we were more of just friends rather than ex-lovers. I am glad I went with so that I was actually able to come to the realization that things were really, truly done.

After Target and Best Buy we went to eat. Again, it was good. We had great conversation. However, I wanted further closure so I asked him a question that has been bothering me for quite some time. I said “So be completely honest with me, Did you ever do anything with anyone while we were together?” He hesitated and said “Actually yes. I made out with someone one time at a bar.” OUCH! That hurt!! I would NEVER do even that if I was with someone. Seriously, why would he make out with someone when he was with me? I don’t get it. But, I am glad I finally have a definitive conclusion to the saga of “Brent and Derek.”