OK…seriously???? WTF is going on with this country’s Politicians? Hate is a very strong word and I do not like to use it, but this warrants it. I hate politics! I don’t like to say I am a Democrat or Republican. This just pisses me off about what the republicans have done. When $4 gas is basically sucking the life out of every person in this absolutely fantastic [said sarcastically] country the republicans go and do this shit.
So yesterday the democrats try to pass a bill that would tax the huge Big Oil profits. Obviously you have been living under a rock if you do not know what I am talking about. A quick catch-up - The five Big Oil giants the past couple years have made, and continue to make, record breaking profits each and every quarter. I mean we are talking tens and tens of billions of dollars. The bill that was presented also allowed for it to be a federal crime to price fix. Now, taking this all in and remember how your stomach churns every time you drive past (or worse yet - pull into to “fill ‘er up”) a gas station and notice the price has gone up another 10 cents a gallon and has now surpassed the $4 mark why the fuck did the stupid ass republicans block this bill? Oh yeah, and this bill would have removed the subsidies that we are STILL giving Big Oil. Why, may I ask, are we still giving Big Oil subsidies when they are making Billions of dollars in profit every three months?
Oh and get this shit—I also just read that the republican’s have ALSO killed a bill that would provide tax incentives for energies that are environmentally friendly. WHAT – THE – FUCK? I do not get it!!!! Am I completely missing something? I would be 100% ok with Big Oil getting away with these profits if they put all, or most, of that money back into renewable energy sources. With billions of dollars, imagine how many wind turbines they could erect. Lets just work this out…so lets say a wind turbine costs $2.5 million (higher than what the Dept. of Energy Estimates) to get into service. Now let’s take the $36 billion that those bastards have made and divide it into that $2.5 million. With those profits and with a wind turbine costing $2.5 million (kind of high, but conservative taking into consideration the cost of GAS to truck that bitch to the site) that would mean that 14,400 wind turbines could be erected in LESS than a year of profits. I know that “wind” is not "Big Oil’s” forte, but we [the US], if we wanted to be, could be the Middle East with Wind Power. We could be driving electric cars and be 100% independent of oil. If we were independent of oil, we could easily have all the national debt paid off, and be the richest country in the world. A few of the European nations (I believe Denmark was one) that made it a goal to be oil-independent is now one of the top 3 richest in the world. BUT, I guess when Big Oil has such an influence on the world financial market it is apparently tough for politicians to think about a greener world and cheaper gas at the pumps versus their local Big Oil buddy giving them cash for keeping things the way they are.
Oh yeah, another thing. This is my prediction for the near future and is only my prediction. This country is going to be in a world of hurt in a year to two years due to the current US economy being in the shitter. I mean we have the highest unemployment in 22 years, gas prices that lead to many people not being able to drive to work, sky-rocketing food prices, and . People’s personal debt is snowballing exponentially because people need to charge things just to afford things we need. I hope to god I am wrong, but I believe within 1 to 2 years Americans are not going to be able to afford to drive at all, will not be able to afford food, and are simply going to be screwed! And 90% is the government and Big Oil’s fault!
So this is another thing that would piss off the general public if everyone knew this, but for years our great government has said inflation has not gone up. This is complete and utter bullshit! If companies and individuals cooked our books the way our government does we would all be in jail soooooo freaking fast! What I am talking about is the fact that the government does not take into consideration the price of “energy” or “food” when figuring inflation rates. Yeah…WTF, right!?!? When the price of my gallon of ice cream goes from $4 to almost $8 or my box of corn flakes going from $3 to $4 in the matter of a year, how can the government really say there is little to no inflation? The oil companies want to blame it on ethanol taking away corn from food production. You know the whole “Food for Fuel” debate, right? That is complete bullshit too! A short time ago that $3 box of Corn Flakes had only 11 cents worth of corn in it. Corn has NOT increased in price as dramatically as Oil. The remaining increase in cost of that, now $4 box of Corn Flakes is transportation and production – both of which require ENERGY. Obviously I am pissed off that the government can say there has been little to no inflation when I KNOW my grocery bill has gone up, yet most of our salaries only go up 2-3%. Interesting isn't it!?!?!? I would like to see the REAL cost of inflation – an inflation index that DOES include both FOOD and ENERGY.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Pleasantly Surprised
So I met this guy [Gerry] a few weeks ago online. Yes, it was online and YES it was on ManHunt and YES I know ManHunt is considered a hook-up site, but I have been on it for some time now and I have yet to hook-up from it. So the following is a true testament to actually being able to find friends on it too.
So this guy starts hitting me up on MH and that night we talked quite a while and he mentioned he was going out with some of his friends for a drink. I went to his house to meet his roommates (two lesbians) then we went downtown to this bar called Pub 500, which is owned by a guy and his lesbian sister. Now, this establishment is one of only two "friendly" places in here in Kato. So that night I meet a few of his friends and I had a beer and went home. It was a great night and I met some great people.
Then the following week, I met everyone at the Pub again and actually met a couple more people. So apparently everyone likes to go out on Wednesday in Kato. Well...the NEXT Wednesday there was an annual drag show at the college, MNSU. Now…taking into consideration as to where I was at [Mankato] I didn’t really have very high hopes for this show. Before we [Gerry, John, Taylor, Amber, Ryan, and myself] I was thinking there would be just a few people….maybe like 25 30 people, right? OHHH no no no....this place was packed and it was the size of a college gym. There had to be 1000 people there. Apparently, last year there were approximately 900 people too. It was awesome! I was feeling a bit more at home, or like I was not just in some hick town.
The show was great and lasted about 2 hours. After the show we all decided we would go downtown for a drink. At this time it was 10pm. Ryan, who I just met this night, and I were on the same page and were like....man...it is a “school night” so we will only go for one. Well we all go and just as we are finishing our one drink about 30 other homos walk in, including the drag queens. I don't have a problem with it, in fact I thought it was great. I will admit I was a little nervous for all of us, but OMG I had a great time and met a ton more people. Ryan and I are both on approximately our 5th beer by this time and it is midnight when the queens decide to go to this bar called "choppers." Now, let’s take the name of the bar into consideration here….”Choppers” sounds far opposite from a martini bar, right?
Well we are…almost sounds like a bad joke…about 20-30 homos walk into this bar and I bet 75% of the heads turned. You should have seen it…especially when the queens walk in!!!! It was AWESOME! Yet, I was thinking....”OHHHHHH boy!” as I am not sure what to think yet. Well, we continued to have a drink and then the queen of the queens (Gosh Alice Jones, from Minneapolis –works at the 90’s) decides to go do karaoke. And who does she decide to sing? Well, none other than Cher, of course!! So she is up there singing and I continue to check out the crowd and it is kind of sad really....you see the regulars just looking, then looking at all us homos, then shaking their heads, rolling their eyes and you know...the usual "I can't believe these fags are here” kind of a thing. I felt horrible for all of us, but ultimately...I think that was the goal or big picture view of Gosh's...I mean, maybe this was good? Maybe it was good in that yeah, we got them talking? Maybe it was “putting ourselves out there for ridicule,” but maybe it also was a way to prove that hey...we ARE here, we are not bothering you and we just want to have fun too. You know?
The point is, there are more homos here than I thought. More than anyone thinks. People are blind. We are everywhere. But the sad thing is, unlike in Minneapolis, here we feel as though we can’t be ourselves. I will admit that I met a couple guys out the other nights I went out with John and Gerry and I didn’t know they were homos. Either I have a really bad gay-dar or they are just really good at blending in here. I will be honest, I thought the group (Gerry, John, Taylor, and Ryan) I was hanging out with was it! However, now I know that when there is a gay event like that, we all come out for the support. We ARE here, but it is kind of sad in that we kind of keep to ourselves unless there is such an event.
So anyway, that night about 1:30 we all decided to head over to the dance club (the Haze). Again I had a great time! I hung out for a little while until I am finally like, “damn it is time to go since I have to work tomorrow.” However, I had ridden with Gerry since he picked me up to go to the show. It is now 2 am and I have 3 freakin dollars left so I decide to walk home!
I live about a mile away up this long hill. I thought...well it is not far, I can do this. I start walking and about halfway up the hill there are not ANY lights for about 1/4 mile and get this shit...there are woods on either side of the road so it is creepy as fuck!! I hear shit running around in the woods and am scared shitless. Of course, it was probably only a freaking squirrel or rabbit, but I am a bit nervous! I walk faster, but about 2:30am I arrive home. At this time I am like, “fuck I gotta be up in a few hours. I cannot believe I did this shit on a ‘school night.’” But the next day I wake up and realize it was all VERY worth it. I met a ton of people and had a great great time!! The next morning was a little funny when I arrive at work as some of the old ladies ask me if my contacts were bothering me since I had my glasses on. I am like, “yeah, I think I ripped one this morning.” Hehehe. Iam bad! I sooo cannot be doing these late nights like this.
Another little story about being pleasantly surprised here. So get this shit. I am being 100% honest in saying I have never been hit on. Let alone in broad daylight, right. Well, I was up in Minneapolis for the Final Macy’s Happy Hour last Friday night (will have to write about that too) and I hung out Saturday for a while with Ben, his friend Colleen, and then I met up with Laura and Hillary, before I decided I should head back. So I head back and I stop in St. Peter to get some gas at the Holiday Station. I pull up and this guy about my height walked up to me as I step out and asks me how I like my Land Rover. I figured this would be a very short conversation. No…we talked for like 10 minutes. It was about the car, then he was asking about what I did and I where I live and what I did prior to moving and all kinds of stuff. At this point, I am like, WTF is going on and I am kind of flabbergasted. I just could not believe this was happening as this guy was CUTE!! About my age, tall, blond, blue. Oh he was yummy! THEN…Then, right before we finish our conversation and he walks off, he asks me for my phone number. Now I am completely floored!!!! I mean seriously, this shit didn’t happen in Minneapolis, but a hot guy is actually asking me for my phone number at the gas station in St. Peter?? WTF is that all about. When I drive off I am giddy as all hell, but realize I didn’t get his number and for the like of my, I cannot remember his fucking name! Here it is Thursday night and he has yet to call. We’ll see if he does. I guess I am not gonna get my hopes up, but it was sure fun while it lasted!! ;-)
So this guy starts hitting me up on MH and that night we talked quite a while and he mentioned he was going out with some of his friends for a drink. I went to his house to meet his roommates (two lesbians) then we went downtown to this bar called Pub 500, which is owned by a guy and his lesbian sister. Now, this establishment is one of only two "friendly" places in here in Kato. So that night I meet a few of his friends and I had a beer and went home. It was a great night and I met some great people.
Then the following week, I met everyone at the Pub again and actually met a couple more people. So apparently everyone likes to go out on Wednesday in Kato. Well...the NEXT Wednesday there was an annual drag show at the college, MNSU. Now…taking into consideration as to where I was at [Mankato] I didn’t really have very high hopes for this show. Before we [Gerry, John, Taylor, Amber, Ryan, and myself] I was thinking there would be just a few people….maybe like 25 30 people, right? OHHH no no no....this place was packed and it was the size of a college gym. There had to be 1000 people there. Apparently, last year there were approximately 900 people too. It was awesome! I was feeling a bit more at home, or like I was not just in some hick town.
The show was great and lasted about 2 hours. After the show we all decided we would go downtown for a drink. At this time it was 10pm. Ryan, who I just met this night, and I were on the same page and were like....man...it is a “school night” so we will only go for one. Well we all go and just as we are finishing our one drink about 30 other homos walk in, including the drag queens. I don't have a problem with it, in fact I thought it was great. I will admit I was a little nervous for all of us, but OMG I had a great time and met a ton more people. Ryan and I are both on approximately our 5th beer by this time and it is midnight when the queens decide to go to this bar called "choppers." Now, let’s take the name of the bar into consideration here….”Choppers” sounds far opposite from a martini bar, right?
Well we are…almost sounds like a bad joke…about 20-30 homos walk into this bar and I bet 75% of the heads turned. You should have seen it…especially when the queens walk in!!!! It was AWESOME! Yet, I was thinking....”OHHHHHH boy!” as I am not sure what to think yet. Well, we continued to have a drink and then the queen of the queens (Gosh Alice Jones, from Minneapolis –works at the 90’s) decides to go do karaoke. And who does she decide to sing? Well, none other than Cher, of course!! So she is up there singing and I continue to check out the crowd and it is kind of sad really....you see the regulars just looking, then looking at all us homos, then shaking their heads, rolling their eyes and you know...the usual "I can't believe these fags are here” kind of a thing. I felt horrible for all of us, but ultimately...I think that was the goal or big picture view of Gosh's...I mean, maybe this was good? Maybe it was good in that yeah, we got them talking? Maybe it was “putting ourselves out there for ridicule,” but maybe it also was a way to prove that hey...we ARE here, we are not bothering you and we just want to have fun too. You know?
The point is, there are more homos here than I thought. More than anyone thinks. People are blind. We are everywhere. But the sad thing is, unlike in Minneapolis, here we feel as though we can’t be ourselves. I will admit that I met a couple guys out the other nights I went out with John and Gerry and I didn’t know they were homos. Either I have a really bad gay-dar or they are just really good at blending in here. I will be honest, I thought the group (Gerry, John, Taylor, and Ryan) I was hanging out with was it! However, now I know that when there is a gay event like that, we all come out for the support. We ARE here, but it is kind of sad in that we kind of keep to ourselves unless there is such an event.
So anyway, that night about 1:30 we all decided to head over to the dance club (the Haze). Again I had a great time! I hung out for a little while until I am finally like, “damn it is time to go since I have to work tomorrow.” However, I had ridden with Gerry since he picked me up to go to the show. It is now 2 am and I have 3 freakin dollars left so I decide to walk home!
I live about a mile away up this long hill. I thought...well it is not far, I can do this. I start walking and about halfway up the hill there are not ANY lights for about 1/4 mile and get this shit...there are woods on either side of the road so it is creepy as fuck!! I hear shit running around in the woods and am scared shitless. Of course, it was probably only a freaking squirrel or rabbit, but I am a bit nervous! I walk faster, but about 2:30am I arrive home. At this time I am like, “fuck I gotta be up in a few hours. I cannot believe I did this shit on a ‘school night.’” But the next day I wake up and realize it was all VERY worth it. I met a ton of people and had a great great time!! The next morning was a little funny when I arrive at work as some of the old ladies ask me if my contacts were bothering me since I had my glasses on. I am like, “yeah, I think I ripped one this morning.” Hehehe. Iam bad! I sooo cannot be doing these late nights like this.
Another little story about being pleasantly surprised here. So get this shit. I am being 100% honest in saying I have never been hit on. Let alone in broad daylight, right. Well, I was up in Minneapolis for the Final Macy’s Happy Hour last Friday night (will have to write about that too) and I hung out Saturday for a while with Ben, his friend Colleen, and then I met up with Laura and Hillary, before I decided I should head back. So I head back and I stop in St. Peter to get some gas at the Holiday Station. I pull up and this guy about my height walked up to me as I step out and asks me how I like my Land Rover. I figured this would be a very short conversation. No…we talked for like 10 minutes. It was about the car, then he was asking about what I did and I where I live and what I did prior to moving and all kinds of stuff. At this point, I am like, WTF is going on and I am kind of flabbergasted. I just could not believe this was happening as this guy was CUTE!! About my age, tall, blond, blue. Oh he was yummy! THEN…Then, right before we finish our conversation and he walks off, he asks me for my phone number. Now I am completely floored!!!! I mean seriously, this shit didn’t happen in Minneapolis, but a hot guy is actually asking me for my phone number at the gas station in St. Peter?? WTF is that all about. When I drive off I am giddy as all hell, but realize I didn’t get his number and for the like of my, I cannot remember his fucking name! Here it is Thursday night and he has yet to call. We’ll see if he does. I guess I am not gonna get my hopes up, but it was sure fun while it lasted!! ;-)
Monday, April 7, 2008
The “People’s Department”
After my blog posting last night about not coming out at work, I get to work this morning and receive the below, very pleasing, email from my new employer. I thought it was very nice and thought I might share…
From: The Office of the Secretary
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 5:55 PM
To: ALL-[Omitted for blog]
Subject: The Secretary's Civil Rights Policy Statement
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF [omitted for blog]
OFFICE OF THE SECRETARY
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20250
Civil Rights Policy Statement
As Secretary of [omitted for blog], I fully support the Department of [omitted for blog]’s civil rights, equal employment opportunity, and diversity policies. I am firmly committed to ensuring that we treat each other and all of [omitted for blog]'s customers with respect, dignity, and equality. This is my commitment, and I expect all [omitted for blog] employees to do their part in translating this commitment into meaningful action.
To help us achieve our mission and live up to the high standard of being known as the "People's Department," we must work together. I take responsibility for leading the way, and my policy is simple and explicit - zero tolerance of any unlawful discrimination, harassment, or reprisal. All [omitted for blog] employees, applicants, customers, and stakeholders must and will have equal access to the opportunities, programs, and services offered by this great Department.
I expect our executives, managers, and supervisors to lead by example and to effectively embrace, manage, and leverage diversity within the Agency. Recognizing that our employees are our greatest asset, we must strive to reflect the diversity of American society at all levels, and cultivate an inclusive workplace environment where the uniqueness, background, and experience of every employee is appreciated and valued.
[Name Omitted for blog]
Secretary
From: The Office of the Secretary
Sent: Friday, April 04, 2008 5:55 PM
To: ALL-[Omitted for blog]
Subject: The Secretary's Civil Rights Policy Statement
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF [omitted for blog]
OFFICE OF THE SECRETARY
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20250
Civil Rights Policy Statement
As Secretary of [omitted for blog], I fully support the Department of [omitted for blog]’s civil rights, equal employment opportunity, and diversity policies. I am firmly committed to ensuring that we treat each other and all of [omitted for blog]'s customers with respect, dignity, and equality. This is my commitment, and I expect all [omitted for blog] employees to do their part in translating this commitment into meaningful action.
To help us achieve our mission and live up to the high standard of being known as the "People's Department," we must work together. I take responsibility for leading the way, and my policy is simple and explicit - zero tolerance of any unlawful discrimination, harassment, or reprisal. All [omitted for blog] employees, applicants, customers, and stakeholders must and will have equal access to the opportunities, programs, and services offered by this great Department.
I expect our executives, managers, and supervisors to lead by example and to effectively embrace, manage, and leverage diversity within the Agency. Recognizing that our employees are our greatest asset, we must strive to reflect the diversity of American society at all levels, and cultivate an inclusive workplace environment where the uniqueness, background, and experience of every employee is appreciated and valued.
[Name Omitted for blog]
Secretary
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Who I am, not what I am
It’s been three weeks since I started my new job. This job really is going to be great. I am already feeling that it is so much more fulfilling. Instead of sarcastically helping people in the sense of providing that momentary high, or remorse, from them buying something they really enjoy at Macy’s, I am actually truly doing something good.
As much as my friends might give me shit for moving to Mankato to work with farmers, it is becoming much much clearer as to why I was fortunate enough for this opportunity to cross my path. With every passing day things get better here in Mankato. I have a lot to learn in the job, but I am meeting new people and it is nice to be so close to home where I can just go home and help on the farm at almost a moments notice. I will obviously always miss my friends who live in Minneapolis, but being in this community is starting to feel more like home. I mean, I grew up here. At one point recently, I had to ask myself, “What was I doing in the city anyway? This fits me better anyway. Was it that I just felt more comfortable there because of what I am?”
That leads me to another point. So, I do not plan on telling anyone I currently work with that I am gay. Instead, I plan on living my life outside of work as I would normally, but never saying anything at work. I feel like this way, my co-workers will get to know me for WHO I am instead of WHAT I am. I am not saying that they will have a problem with it, but I do know that there is a higher percentage of people here who are much more close-minded and I am not going to give anyone ammunition for disliking me just because they don’t agree with who I might be outside of work. I figure down the road if I get found out, then they will truly know me for WHO I am rather than WHAT they perceive I may have been previous to truly getting to know the real me. Good idea or bad? I donno, but that is the way it will be.
As much as my friends might give me shit for moving to Mankato to work with farmers, it is becoming much much clearer as to why I was fortunate enough for this opportunity to cross my path. With every passing day things get better here in Mankato. I have a lot to learn in the job, but I am meeting new people and it is nice to be so close to home where I can just go home and help on the farm at almost a moments notice. I will obviously always miss my friends who live in Minneapolis, but being in this community is starting to feel more like home. I mean, I grew up here. At one point recently, I had to ask myself, “What was I doing in the city anyway? This fits me better anyway. Was it that I just felt more comfortable there because of what I am?”
That leads me to another point. So, I do not plan on telling anyone I currently work with that I am gay. Instead, I plan on living my life outside of work as I would normally, but never saying anything at work. I feel like this way, my co-workers will get to know me for WHO I am instead of WHAT I am. I am not saying that they will have a problem with it, but I do know that there is a higher percentage of people here who are much more close-minded and I am not going to give anyone ammunition for disliking me just because they don’t agree with who I might be outside of work. I figure down the road if I get found out, then they will truly know me for WHO I am rather than WHAT they perceive I may have been previous to truly getting to know the real me. Good idea or bad? I donno, but that is the way it will be.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
On with the next chapter
Okidoki…so the last few weeks have been interesting. I guess I could say I am starting a new chapter in my life and getting laid off was just one page in this new chapter.
It has been a week since I left Macy’s. I love it, but I will be honest…I was really sad when I was leaving last Friday. It was hard. In the 4 years I was there, I made a ton of friends and worked with sooooo many people. I had to say goodbye to everyone before I left. I am not gonna lie…it was hard. But, as I have said in the past, I am not one to show emotion and I didn’t. ;-) Leaving last Friday from Macy’s was finishing one chapter of my book of life and this week was starting a while new one I my new place. Next week will be, yet another.
In the time between my last posting and this one, I was able to find an apartment in Mankato. I actually found it through craigslist. A guy desperately needed to get out of his lease as he was starting a new job in CA. He is even paying $90 a month for 6 months since he was so desperate. So I came and looked at it and was originally turned off by the exterior of the building, but the unit itself is nice. It is not huge, but it was updated in the last few years. I think I was totally spoiled from my condo that I remodeled myself. That place was sweet. I mean it was very modern, contemporary, and something I could be really proud of.
I had sooooooo much shit that I moved and I didn’t even have any furniture. It was unreal. I moved out of my Edina place 2 Monday’s ago and I started about 9am and didn’t finish until 9pm. Of course I did it by myself, but it was a good that I moved it all myself. This way I touched every last piece of crap before it was packed and moved it from one place to another myself. When I moved in this last Monday, I went through everything Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Like I said, I had sooo much shit! I had 4 garbage bags of crap that I threw away and I made two trips to the Salvation Army to donate. When I finished going through all the little crap on Thursday morning I sat down and thought…”Hummmm. I have never lived alone. This is actually really nice. I have my OWN place. I do not have any roommates. I do not have to clean up after anyone, except myself. Everything here is mine and only mine. This is MY place.” After thinking this, I felt so much better about living here. I am not saying that I will not miss seeing my friends every day at work or working downtown. Of course I will miss all that. But, I have to make living here [Mankato] ok and having a place to call my own home is a start.
I have actually already gone back up to Minneapolis. Last night Ben put on a “Gay sex seminar.” Ok, so the quick story behind this is that we have a bunch of friends that have always asked questions and Ben’s way to explain anything was to put together a PowerPoint presentation with visual aids, such as books and even gay porn movies. It was great! He went through everything from the culture (some of which was news to me), how things have evolved, facts, figures, and many other aspects that might help explain homosexuality. Including, but not limited to coming out stories, and the inequalities we face today and have faced for years. I totally commend him for doing it. It was eye opening for even myself.
That was last night. Today, I could not believe it, but I stayed at Ben’s and slept until noon. I couldn’t believe it because I didn’t even sleep that late all week at my new place. I had planned on going to see my undergrad advisor [Vern]. He was a great man. He is about 70 and still not retired. He is the most senior person at the University of Minnesota and loves it when old students keep in contact. I was going to fill him in on my new job and all that good stuff, but he wasn’t around when I showed up at 12:30, so I went to get a bite to eat at the student union, went back at 1 and was still not there. I talked to his admin and she said he should be around somewhere. Instead of waiting, I went across the street to visit my brother and some of the guys at the frat. I think he was surprised I showed up, but was happy to see me. After visiting with my bro a while, I called before walking back over to see if Vern had returned. I think he must have left a little early to enjoy his spring break, which begins now and goes thru next week. I guess I will have to stop some other time if I get up there during the week.
After finishing up at the U, Ben was at work so I didn’t want to go sit in an empty apartment so I stopped at the Caribou just across the street from his place. I think I have said this in the past, but “I love the Uptown neighborhood of Minneapolis!” When I lived there I loved it because of all the eclectic people. It has not changed and it is just soooo diverse. I love it! So I order my medium White Chocolate Mocha and this older gentleman came in about the same time I did. He was probably retirement age. He gets his medium dark roast, adds some sugar and sits in one of the high tables along the window. I grab a table next to his and wait for my order to be called. I grab it and sit down and just “people watch” and take in the sights and sounds for one of my last times in Uptown. I seriously do not think this guy needed another coffee. After sitting there and watching out the window but watching him out of the corner of my eye, I notice he is fidgety and really hyper and just kind of “odd” I guess you could say. So anyway, he has a few drinks of his coffee and sits and keeps looking at me. I quickly realize this man is an old mo. Hey it is cool. If he wants to check me out, so be it, but seriously dude…not interested. Hahahaha. So he gets up and goes outside to smoke and I swear he walked around the corner a minimum of 5 times looking in the same window I am looking out. It was funny. I sit there for probably half an hour and these 3 beautiful girls come in. Two get a coffee and while they wait, I catch all three checking me out. Again, it was funny because “Sorry girls!” Hahaha. Those girls leave and the retiree comes back in and sits down in his same table and continues to glance at me. I am thinking, “Dude…I am not interested in the girls, and I am also not interested in you.” He proceeds to take out this wide ruled notebook. As he flips the page I notice that is must be his journal. As he flipped the page it didn’t give me a lot of time to read it, but in purple ink the heading at the top of the page said, “Get on with your life” and there was at least one more heading halfway down the page. After a few minutes of watching him write and catching him checking me out, I finish my mocha and leave. As I walk out the door, I come across this cute old woman leaving the Lund’s. She is dressed in this bright purple knee-length pea coat with very bright teal pants and a really big white sun hat. She didn’t look bad and was really put together well, but really caught my attention and obviously made an impression on me.
Anyway, I had to write since it has been a while. Now….On with the next chapter!!
It has been a week since I left Macy’s. I love it, but I will be honest…I was really sad when I was leaving last Friday. It was hard. In the 4 years I was there, I made a ton of friends and worked with sooooo many people. I had to say goodbye to everyone before I left. I am not gonna lie…it was hard. But, as I have said in the past, I am not one to show emotion and I didn’t. ;-) Leaving last Friday from Macy’s was finishing one chapter of my book of life and this week was starting a while new one I my new place. Next week will be, yet another.
In the time between my last posting and this one, I was able to find an apartment in Mankato. I actually found it through craigslist. A guy desperately needed to get out of his lease as he was starting a new job in CA. He is even paying $90 a month for 6 months since he was so desperate. So I came and looked at it and was originally turned off by the exterior of the building, but the unit itself is nice. It is not huge, but it was updated in the last few years. I think I was totally spoiled from my condo that I remodeled myself. That place was sweet. I mean it was very modern, contemporary, and something I could be really proud of.
I had sooooooo much shit that I moved and I didn’t even have any furniture. It was unreal. I moved out of my Edina place 2 Monday’s ago and I started about 9am and didn’t finish until 9pm. Of course I did it by myself, but it was a good that I moved it all myself. This way I touched every last piece of crap before it was packed and moved it from one place to another myself. When I moved in this last Monday, I went through everything Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Like I said, I had sooo much shit! I had 4 garbage bags of crap that I threw away and I made two trips to the Salvation Army to donate. When I finished going through all the little crap on Thursday morning I sat down and thought…”Hummmm. I have never lived alone. This is actually really nice. I have my OWN place. I do not have any roommates. I do not have to clean up after anyone, except myself. Everything here is mine and only mine. This is MY place.” After thinking this, I felt so much better about living here. I am not saying that I will not miss seeing my friends every day at work or working downtown. Of course I will miss all that. But, I have to make living here [Mankato] ok and having a place to call my own home is a start.
I have actually already gone back up to Minneapolis. Last night Ben put on a “Gay sex seminar.” Ok, so the quick story behind this is that we have a bunch of friends that have always asked questions and Ben’s way to explain anything was to put together a PowerPoint presentation with visual aids, such as books and even gay porn movies. It was great! He went through everything from the culture (some of which was news to me), how things have evolved, facts, figures, and many other aspects that might help explain homosexuality. Including, but not limited to coming out stories, and the inequalities we face today and have faced for years. I totally commend him for doing it. It was eye opening for even myself.
That was last night. Today, I could not believe it, but I stayed at Ben’s and slept until noon. I couldn’t believe it because I didn’t even sleep that late all week at my new place. I had planned on going to see my undergrad advisor [Vern]. He was a great man. He is about 70 and still not retired. He is the most senior person at the University of Minnesota and loves it when old students keep in contact. I was going to fill him in on my new job and all that good stuff, but he wasn’t around when I showed up at 12:30, so I went to get a bite to eat at the student union, went back at 1 and was still not there. I talked to his admin and she said he should be around somewhere. Instead of waiting, I went across the street to visit my brother and some of the guys at the frat. I think he was surprised I showed up, but was happy to see me. After visiting with my bro a while, I called before walking back over to see if Vern had returned. I think he must have left a little early to enjoy his spring break, which begins now and goes thru next week. I guess I will have to stop some other time if I get up there during the week.
After finishing up at the U, Ben was at work so I didn’t want to go sit in an empty apartment so I stopped at the Caribou just across the street from his place. I think I have said this in the past, but “I love the Uptown neighborhood of Minneapolis!” When I lived there I loved it because of all the eclectic people. It has not changed and it is just soooo diverse. I love it! So I order my medium White Chocolate Mocha and this older gentleman came in about the same time I did. He was probably retirement age. He gets his medium dark roast, adds some sugar and sits in one of the high tables along the window. I grab a table next to his and wait for my order to be called. I grab it and sit down and just “people watch” and take in the sights and sounds for one of my last times in Uptown. I seriously do not think this guy needed another coffee. After sitting there and watching out the window but watching him out of the corner of my eye, I notice he is fidgety and really hyper and just kind of “odd” I guess you could say. So anyway, he has a few drinks of his coffee and sits and keeps looking at me. I quickly realize this man is an old mo. Hey it is cool. If he wants to check me out, so be it, but seriously dude…not interested. Hahahaha. So he gets up and goes outside to smoke and I swear he walked around the corner a minimum of 5 times looking in the same window I am looking out. It was funny. I sit there for probably half an hour and these 3 beautiful girls come in. Two get a coffee and while they wait, I catch all three checking me out. Again, it was funny because “Sorry girls!” Hahaha. Those girls leave and the retiree comes back in and sits down in his same table and continues to glance at me. I am thinking, “Dude…I am not interested in the girls, and I am also not interested in you.” He proceeds to take out this wide ruled notebook. As he flips the page I notice that is must be his journal. As he flipped the page it didn’t give me a lot of time to read it, but in purple ink the heading at the top of the page said, “Get on with your life” and there was at least one more heading halfway down the page. After a few minutes of watching him write and catching him checking me out, I finish my mocha and leave. As I walk out the door, I come across this cute old woman leaving the Lund’s. She is dressed in this bright purple knee-length pea coat with very bright teal pants and a really big white sun hat. She didn’t look bad and was really put together well, but really caught my attention and obviously made an impression on me.
Anyway, I had to write since it has been a while. Now….On with the next chapter!!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Poor Megan
This week was difficult. It started out normal, but then since I am starting a new job I decided to go visit the people I would be working with in Kato. Great people. Great place. The city is a different story. I need to find a place to live and all the places really, well…suck ass!! There is like one new building in the whole fucking city and it is booked through 2009 AND has a waiting list. This building was built in the last year and EVERYthing else in the city was built in the 60’s and 70’s and are just as expensive as the new place. Are you fucking kidding me?!?! I mean seriously. Maybe that says something? Maybe people want a NICE place to live? I am soooo over living in college type/crappy places. I want someplace nice! Is that too much to ask? And the rent…things there are not any cheaper than here in Minneapolis. I mean seriously, I know there is a university there, but are you fucking kidding me! Obviously, they need more, NICE places. Any Joe Schmoe could tell you the basic economics of Supply and Demand. Hello!! Build more NICE places because you have a two-year fucking waiting list for the only new god damn building in the entire city.
Ok, sorry…I just needed to rant. I am getting a little stressed about finding a place. I can live with my sister and her fiancé for a short time, but I really just wanted to move and settle in. What the fuck ever!!!
Not only am I upset about that whole situation, but I am extremely sad right now. First, I think I just got denied, which I was actually planning on anyway so not a surprise, but the biggest thing that makes be really sad right now is Derek just came to pick up the dog [Megan]. Anyone who really knows me, knows that I am not one to get emotional, but when I looked out the window and she was standing by his car, staring at the front door, waiting for me to come out, it made me really really really sad, or as an old neighbor used to say “schmeltz!” Even before they walked out the door, he went out first and she stood there waiting for me. It was almost like she was saying “aren’t you coming daddy?” Part of me thinks I will not ever see her again because I feel like he will not let me. I mean he took everything of hers. I also feel sooooo bad for her. He will spoil her today, but that will be it. He never paid any attention to her the 3 years we were together. That is why she always followed me around and was sad when I left. When we were together he even said, “She whines when you leave.” If I would go to the store and he stayed with her she was always waiting for me by the door when I got home rather than sitting next to him. He never went outside and threw the ball for her; he never got on the floor and played with her. Just now, instead of letting her run out to the car he hooked her up to the leash. I said, “You don’t need to hook her up. I let her run in the front yard all the time.” He said, “I don’t want her to get her feet dirty for the car.” I asked, “why not just pick her up?” He “I don’t want to get hair all over my shirt.” Are you fucking kidding me? Poor Megan! I feel so bad for her and am extremely sad right now. I wish I could have just said, “NO. She is staying here.” But I couldn’t. She is technically his dog. He went and picked her up. He adopted her in his name, not ours. Everything at the vet is in his name. I have asked before and even recently tried calling again to try to get my name on everything and they wouldn’t let me. They asked, “did you guys get married?” I looked at her like, “are you fucking kidding me? CAN I get married?” but I simply said, “no.” To which she replied. “I don’t agree with it either, but that is the policy.” And this isn’t the local 60 year old catholic veterinarian that has his head so far up his ass as to sociological progression, this is Banfield at PetSmart. I mean, WTF!! Whatever. Today has just been a very fucked up week and day. :-(
Ok, sorry…I just needed to rant. I am getting a little stressed about finding a place. I can live with my sister and her fiancé for a short time, but I really just wanted to move and settle in. What the fuck ever!!!
Not only am I upset about that whole situation, but I am extremely sad right now. First, I think I just got denied, which I was actually planning on anyway so not a surprise, but the biggest thing that makes be really sad right now is Derek just came to pick up the dog [Megan]. Anyone who really knows me, knows that I am not one to get emotional, but when I looked out the window and she was standing by his car, staring at the front door, waiting for me to come out, it made me really really really sad, or as an old neighbor used to say “schmeltz!” Even before they walked out the door, he went out first and she stood there waiting for me. It was almost like she was saying “aren’t you coming daddy?” Part of me thinks I will not ever see her again because I feel like he will not let me. I mean he took everything of hers. I also feel sooooo bad for her. He will spoil her today, but that will be it. He never paid any attention to her the 3 years we were together. That is why she always followed me around and was sad when I left. When we were together he even said, “She whines when you leave.” If I would go to the store and he stayed with her she was always waiting for me by the door when I got home rather than sitting next to him. He never went outside and threw the ball for her; he never got on the floor and played with her. Just now, instead of letting her run out to the car he hooked her up to the leash. I said, “You don’t need to hook her up. I let her run in the front yard all the time.” He said, “I don’t want her to get her feet dirty for the car.” I asked, “why not just pick her up?” He “I don’t want to get hair all over my shirt.” Are you fucking kidding me? Poor Megan! I feel so bad for her and am extremely sad right now. I wish I could have just said, “NO. She is staying here.” But I couldn’t. She is technically his dog. He went and picked her up. He adopted her in his name, not ours. Everything at the vet is in his name. I have asked before and even recently tried calling again to try to get my name on everything and they wouldn’t let me. They asked, “did you guys get married?” I looked at her like, “are you fucking kidding me? CAN I get married?” but I simply said, “no.” To which she replied. “I don’t agree with it either, but that is the policy.” And this isn’t the local 60 year old catholic veterinarian that has his head so far up his ass as to sociological progression, this is Banfield at PetSmart. I mean, WTF!! Whatever. Today has just been a very fucked up week and day. :-(
Monday, February 11, 2008
What do I do with other blog?
Do I copy and paste everything into this blog or do I just leave the link on the right? I don't want to loose all of those other postings on that site, but that is a lot of copy/pasting.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
I finally have closure
Ok…the ex. Yes Yes Yes, I know. I thought I was over him. But apparently I was not…until today. Last week he asked if he could come see the dog [Megan]. Of course he could, she is his dog too. He came over today and the first few minutes were very awkward. It was weird. I mean, we have not talked in over two months so yea it is going to be weird. After a while we talked about many things, from work to dating. This is where it hit me. I got REALLY jealous when he said he has been dating someone for a while now and it really hit me when he said that he had sex with five people. I was like “5 people in 2 months?!?!?” I don’t know how it came up, but it did and it bothered me.
He had to go to Target and asked if I wanted to go with. I needed to return something there and to Best Buy so after a bit of hesitation I agreed. It was good though. We went and after a while it felt like we were more of just friends rather than ex-lovers. I am glad I went with so that I was actually able to come to the realization that things were really, truly done.
After Target and Best Buy we went to eat. Again, it was good. We had great conversation. However, I wanted further closure so I asked him a question that has been bothering me for quite some time. I said “So be completely honest with me, Did you ever do anything with anyone while we were together?” He hesitated and said “Actually yes. I made out with someone one time at a bar.” OUCH! That hurt!! I would NEVER do even that if I was with someone. Seriously, why would he make out with someone when he was with me? I don’t get it. But, I am glad I finally have a definitive conclusion to the saga of “Brent and Derek.”
He had to go to Target and asked if I wanted to go with. I needed to return something there and to Best Buy so after a bit of hesitation I agreed. It was good though. We went and after a while it felt like we were more of just friends rather than ex-lovers. I am glad I went with so that I was actually able to come to the realization that things were really, truly done.
After Target and Best Buy we went to eat. Again, it was good. We had great conversation. However, I wanted further closure so I asked him a question that has been bothering me for quite some time. I said “So be completely honest with me, Did you ever do anything with anyone while we were together?” He hesitated and said “Actually yes. I made out with someone one time at a bar.” OUCH! That hurt!! I would NEVER do even that if I was with someone. Seriously, why would he make out with someone when he was with me? I don’t get it. But, I am glad I finally have a definitive conclusion to the saga of “Brent and Derek.”
Thursday, February 7, 2008
The bright side
This is a little message I posted on our work blog today. I should note that others were posting some things that obviously were coming from disgruntled employees. I guess I have a different view on things since I have something lined up, but I still would not be rude about it.
As much as this whole lay-off deal really, well...sucks for everyone we need to think about it positively too. I mean, yea it really hits home that in 3 months many of us will not have a job. Some of us maybe sooner, and some of us later, but we are all in the same boat and yes, it is not a pleasant feeling. We thought we were stressed when the responsibilities of those recently let go were placed on our plates. Now you can look at it as most of these extra responsibilities will soon be going to someone in NY and we can then concentrate on the new stressor of not having a job in the near future.
However, with severance and the option for unemployment benefits, it might not be so bad. Look at the bright side, you may have a few weeks of vacation. Plus, if you really want, you may even get a chance to move to a city that you have always wanted to live in. New York would be fun. San Francisco would be a blast. Atlanta...at least it is warm and cheap to live there! All I can say now is hang in there and Good Luck to everyone!
Macy's North has been Elminated
Wow...so today was a bigger day than I thought it was going to be. Last night about this time I was thinking I would go to work, prepare for my 9am meeting, go to the dentist at 11, meet Ben for lunch, give my two weeks notice, go to my MBA happy hour, then finish the day out with a game of broomball. Is this how the day went? Nope! No, instead I get to work early to prepare for my meeting, people start rolling in around 8am and I notice a lot of closed door conversations and also noticed two pretty important people in the hall whispering. Once I noticed this, I knew shit was going down sometime today.
So I told myself I should hold off on giving my notice because if this is what I think it is, I might be getting a severance too. Anyway, I go to my meeting and two of 8 people show up. I look at them, and I say, I think we should reschedule because I think there might be a meeting that we will be required to go to very soon. Sure as fucking shit!! I get back to my desk and there is the meeting notice. The auditorium...we only have meetings in the auditorium when the whole headquarters has to attend. Interesting!! I knew it!!
So the meeting is set for 11:45, but my dentist appointment is at 11am. I am like SHIT, I am not going to make it! I go to my apt and finish up at 11:40. Thankfully the dentist is just a block down the street, so I am running down Nicollet Mall to try to get back in five minutes. Remember, the meeting is in the auditorium, but the auditorium is on the 8th floor. Also keep in mind that this building is a huge department store in the heart of downtown Minneapolis with 2 restaurants on the 12th floor and a huge cafeteria in the lower level. Where do many of the dwtn working population go to eat on a given work day? And especially when I have to get to a huge meeting? Macy's, of course. And where are they all at? The elevator bay!!! Let’s just say I was a little late, but thankfully I didn't miss anything.
A chairman from corporate gets on stage and starts out by saying "I wish I were here to deliver some good news, but this is a sad day, and it is not a good day for Macy's North." OH.....fucking wonderful!! GASP!!! I have to play it off like I don't have a job lined up already, right? I knew this shit was coming though. I knew it! I have told people (not work people) this was coming and I said it was going to be soon. Sure enough!! Here we go!! Of course, it doesn't really bother me. However, how do I work this so I can get a severance too? Not a freaking clue folks!!! If the out date for everyone was sooner I might be able to push back the start date with the new job, but 2 more months (out date is currently set for May 2nd and the start date for the new job is March 3rd)....not so sure it is going to happen and I definitely do not want to shoot myself in the foot. How do I work this?
So yeah, needless to say, I did not give my two weeks notice. Instead, after the meeting the whole organization went home or for drinks. I went to eat with Ben, then Kevin and I went for drinks, then I went to my MBA happy hour, and finally to my broomball game.
I am not going to want to get out of bed, but...tomorrow it is "business as usual!" YAY!!! I am soooooo excited to go to work tomorrow!!
So I told myself I should hold off on giving my notice because if this is what I think it is, I might be getting a severance too. Anyway, I go to my meeting and two of 8 people show up. I look at them, and I say, I think we should reschedule because I think there might be a meeting that we will be required to go to very soon. Sure as fucking shit!! I get back to my desk and there is the meeting notice. The auditorium...we only have meetings in the auditorium when the whole headquarters has to attend. Interesting!! I knew it!!
So the meeting is set for 11:45, but my dentist appointment is at 11am. I am like SHIT, I am not going to make it! I go to my apt and finish up at 11:40. Thankfully the dentist is just a block down the street, so I am running down Nicollet Mall to try to get back in five minutes. Remember, the meeting is in the auditorium, but the auditorium is on the 8th floor. Also keep in mind that this building is a huge department store in the heart of downtown Minneapolis with 2 restaurants on the 12th floor and a huge cafeteria in the lower level. Where do many of the dwtn working population go to eat on a given work day? And especially when I have to get to a huge meeting? Macy's, of course. And where are they all at? The elevator bay!!! Let’s just say I was a little late, but thankfully I didn't miss anything.
A chairman from corporate gets on stage and starts out by saying "I wish I were here to deliver some good news, but this is a sad day, and it is not a good day for Macy's North." OH.....fucking wonderful!! GASP!!! I have to play it off like I don't have a job lined up already, right? I knew this shit was coming though. I knew it! I have told people (not work people) this was coming and I said it was going to be soon. Sure enough!! Here we go!! Of course, it doesn't really bother me. However, how do I work this so I can get a severance too? Not a freaking clue folks!!! If the out date for everyone was sooner I might be able to push back the start date with the new job, but 2 more months (out date is currently set for May 2nd and the start date for the new job is March 3rd)....not so sure it is going to happen and I definitely do not want to shoot myself in the foot. How do I work this?
So yeah, needless to say, I did not give my two weeks notice. Instead, after the meeting the whole organization went home or for drinks. I went to eat with Ben, then Kevin and I went for drinks, then I went to my MBA happy hour, and finally to my broomball game.
I am not going to want to get out of bed, but...tomorrow it is "business as usual!" YAY!!! I am soooooo excited to go to work tomorrow!!
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