Who I am, not what I am

It’s been three weeks since I started my new job. This job really is going to be great. I am already feeling that it is so much more fulfilling. Instead of sarcastically helping people in the sense of providing that momentary high, or remorse, from them buying something they really enjoy at Macy’s, I am actually truly doing something good.

As much as my friends might give me shit for moving to Mankato to work with farmers, it is becoming much much clearer as to why I was fortunate enough for this opportunity to cross my path. With every passing day things get better here in Mankato. I have a lot to learn in the job, but I am meeting new people and it is nice to be so close to home where I can just go home and help on the farm at almost a moments notice. I will obviously always miss my friends who live in Minneapolis, but being in this community is starting to feel more like home. I mean, I grew up here. At one point recently, I had to ask myself, “What was I doing in the city anyway? This fits me better anyway. Was it that I just felt more comfortable there because of what I am?”

That leads me to another point. So, I do not plan on telling anyone I currently work with that I am gay. Instead, I plan on living my life outside of work as I would normally, but never saying anything at work. I feel like this way, my co-workers will get to know me for WHO I am instead of WHAT I am. I am not saying that they will have a problem with it, but I do know that there is a higher percentage of people here who are much more close-minded and I am not going to give anyone ammunition for disliking me just because they don’t agree with who I might be outside of work. I figure down the road if I get found out, then they will truly know me for WHO I am rather than WHAT they perceive I may have been previous to truly getting to know the real me. Good idea or bad? I donno, but that is the way it will be.